Inspiration for the Patience Project

I currently find myself on the tail end of a months-long season that has demanded patience — a not-always-welcome teacher.

I’ve always considered myself a patient person.

But the truth is, even though I have patience for most kids, for people who are struggling, and for those innocently stuck in their automatic patterns — but not so much for myself.

In this season, I have been confronted by my own process, my own timeline.

A few months before this “lesson” began to announce itself, I felt invigorated by life — challenged, growing, clear on what I wanted.

I had big ideas and open-hearted experiences that left me finally sure I was on the right path. 

And then… I stalled out.

I was brought face to face (or more like whole body to the floor) with my core wounds and existential fears.

At times, I could barely breathe with the amount of fear in my body.

I began questioning things I had invested so much time, energy, and identity in.

Despite all I had “learned,” I could hardly put any of it into practice. The skills I’d spent years developing felt unavailable to me.

I was disillusioned.

How could I not know what to do here, after all the training and all the work I’ve done?

I felt distant from myself — like I wasn’t really “here” but had no sense of where else I might be. I could barely find my footing.

I did my best to care for my body — doing things that I imagined were good for me, even when I couldn’t really tell if they were working.

Some days felt like a week.

As the experience came to a head, I spoke with a friend who knows this place intimately - who has moved through his own Dark Night of the Soul, written incredibly moving poetry about it, and integrated many of its lessons.

He told me:

“Something I’ve learned about Winter is that its job is not just to let things die that need to die, but to make sure they are good and dead… I would not wish this pain on anyone. And also, I know there is gold for you here. Don’t worry about finding it now. Don’t rush through it. I just want to say that I see you in it and my heart goes out to you. And it’s clear to me that you’re right where you need to be.”

I’m slightly paraphrasing, but he said some version of all those things over the course of about 45 minutes while I sobbed on the other end of the phone.

I was so grateful for this witnessing — to be seen by someone who had been there, felt the excruciating weight of it, and yet had no intention of “fixing” anything for me.

The experience was mine to meet.

And it is mine to carry forward as I continue learning what it means to surrender to timelines I have little or no say over.

I will tell you: I feel the weight lifting, the process unfolding, the integration happening.

I am grateful for the revelations now presenting themselves.

But what I most want to share is not a multi-step process or a list of lessons —
I don’t have your answers, and I am not offering to do your work for you.

What I do have is inspiration from my own evolving relationship with patience.

And I can think of no better way to continue my own exploration than to sit with others called to explore it within themselves.

If this theme calls to you, I encourage you to take a closer look.

I'm inviting 14 individuals to join me for 60-minute sessions to explore your relationship to patience and the patterns that arise when the request for patience arises.

We’ll take a look at what in your life is not moving at the pace you’d like, where you find yourself stuck in old patterns, and I’ll offer witnessing and guidance to help you access more of your inner knowing about what this experience is offering you.

Join the project by scheduling a free 60-minute coaching conversation to explore your relationship to patience.